Step Eleven
3 STEP SHADOW INTEGRATION
I want to thank you all for taking the time to do the hard work in facing your shadow. Facing all of the shame and the buried aspects of self is not easy, but know that you’ve just advocated for yourself immensely. Please do not stop using these tools! They are a life-long journey that will make integrating deeper into your authentic self much quicker.
Here's how I'd like you to continue this work whenever you are triggered by positive or negative shadow. Pop into this workshop and walk it through this quick process:
IDENTIFY • The moment you are triggered by anything, I want you to pinpoint why and boil it down into an essence or aspect (one word). So if you judge ANYTHING or yourself, get to the bottom of why?
LISTEN
JOURNAL & DO
OWNING • To own your shadow word, means to fully accept and acknowledge that quality, action, happening, or event as a valid part of your authenticity. Meaning that even shouting it from the roof-top, once fully owned (integrated) no longer incites feelings of shame or nervousness. You are who you are - fully and authentically - as well as the actions you have taken or events that have happened to you in life. Before we can move forward in healing, unblocking and integrating, we must first accept all sides of ourselves. When you begin to accept and integrate this message, you become that much more magnetic.
What are ways that I can fully accept this aspect of myself emotionally?
INSTANT INTEGRATION • When we’re integrating our shadow, the most important thing we’re doing is allowing ourselves to be okay with being seen, fully and entirely, for who we are, totally accepting all of our flaws. For myself, one of the ways to start accepting them is by outing them to people whose opinions I care about. The main energetic that you’re wanting to unlock in yourself is whatever the thing is that pains you and brings you shame. Maybe you had an affair and nobody knows and if they find out, you would be shamed or lose your current partner. Wherever the shame is, it needs to be unlocked and integrated, so that you feel totally okay with the fact that it’s happened and that you couldn’t really be too affected by what other people think if they found out. Or it owns (continues to block) you from your manifestations. The more fear and shame surrounding a shadow aspect, the more power it has over you. Similarly, once you take your power back by owning it (sharing it), the MORE magnetic (and free) you will be after.
The way to instantly integrate aspects of yourself is to admit them and to expose them to the people you would care the most if they found out. For instance, if "hillbilly" comes up for me, I will write a blog or IG post completely and totally exposing anything about myself that could be considered a hillbilly. I own it on the blog for the whole world to read and see regardless of how mortifying it is, and then it doesn't have any power over me anymore.
Another tactic I'll use is to casually drop it in conversation with the people that I DEEPLY admire and worry about finding out such deep-dark-mortifying things about me. BAM, then it is owned.
Who do I need to out myself to in order to be fully free and integrated?
This can be used anytime!
EXPANDERS TO KEEP YOU GOING
“I used to think that leaving my old job and home town would be all I needed to stop feeling miserable and stuck. So I did that…well part of it was done for me. It started with being laid off, getting a job offer across the country, having that offer be on hold indefinitely and eventually finding a new job in Chicago — a city where I didn’t really know a soul. Bear in mind, this alL happened during an especially tumultuous time where I was blindsided by a breakup and dealing with serious family health issues. So I moved, jumped into a new role and convinced myself that I was now “unstuck.” And needless to say, while I like the work and love the people, that’s not the case.
It’s come to light through many many tears, the physical weight and tightness of constant stress and finally a panic attack. Progressing to the more positive pieces of this, I finally came to the conclusion that if I keep running up against these yucky feelings and awful side effects it’s got to be something in me…my shadow…that keeps rearing it’s head to force me to see something. So I’ve been paying more attention. That said, I still didn’t know what to do next. *The manifestation* I did shadow work before moving and it helped uncover a lot, plus recently started Lacy’s reparenting because I felt like I was back in my dark place. In becoming more aware it feels like the universe it helping to guide me and turn the dark into a magic dark. Months ago I saw an advertisement about event focused mind-body-spirit wellness; a passion of mine, but it was a little too pricey for me to invest in at the time so I forgot about it. Last night while scrolling on instagram I saw that they posted about the career coach who will be speaking and her unique approach to looking beyond your skillset to understanding the what really lights you up and fuels your passion. On a whim, I tracked down her page and reached out with where I am in this journey and why her approach inspires me. This morning I woke up to a very generous offer of a free ticket to Saturday’s event AND a complimentary 1:1 session. While I still feel like I’m in my magic dark and need to keep working out what’s presenting itself and how I move forward, I’m beyond grateful of the tools making themselves available to me.”